my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
