I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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