turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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