Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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