why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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