well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
