You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
we made out on top of his cat.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
