Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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