sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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