Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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