i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
