community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
