Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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