Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
