I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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