Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
