Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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