She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
