dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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