I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
