he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
