she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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