He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
