just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
