Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
