I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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