theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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