She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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