Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
