When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize