i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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