$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
