check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
