Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
