Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
