Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
