4 words: hood of his car
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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