so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
