My nipple is on Facebook.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
