Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
