I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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