Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
