Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
