There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
