I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
