I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
