Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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