He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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