Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
