belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
