So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
