the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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