my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I could fuck to npr.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
