those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
