You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
