"it" just moved
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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