I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
