Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
