don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
