found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
