in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i love accidental penises.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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