i jhust puked up my retainher.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
