I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
