we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
