Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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