dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
